MLB 2019 Season Preview

After an offseason that has felt longer than any one of Odubel Herrera’s 2,154 career at bats, the 2019 MLB campaign is FINALLY upon us. In what shapes up to be another exciting year of bat flips and brushbacks, baseball fans everywhere should be stoked on a season that actually may have some parity, and if we are lucky one that doesn’t result with the Dodgers in the World Series.

Our 6-Division preview won’t help you predict who will have the best WAR or tell you which American League shortstop had the most stolen bases on 1-2 counts in 2018 (jk it will because it was Jean Segura so tell that to your douchey baseball friend who’s a “die-hard” cubs fan because his uncle had a layover at o’hare one time in ‘03 and felt sorry for the fans cause the man with the head radio caught the ball), but it will help get you all fired up for another year of America’s Pastime ©.

*Sidenote, I HATE reading any of the dumbass Bleacher Report/ESPN/MLB articles that I am poorly replicating because they ALWAYS start in the AL East and then move west. And then they go back to the NL East and do the same shit. Fuck that. The AL East is dumb. They’ve had their glory at the bottom of the introduction paragraph for far too long. I’m writing about them last when I am the most TIRED and INARTICULATE.


The landscape of the NL West within the last decade has been shaped by  LA dominance, San Francisco’s #Believen dynasty, and the Rockies and D-Backs coming oh-so-close after solid regular season runs. And also the Padres being a team. As much as I want to say that the West is actually up for grabs, only half of the division has actually improved enough to give LA a run for their money. The Rockies’ loss of D.J LeMahieu was quickly remedied by the signing of solid utilityman Daniel Murphy, and the Padres’ BOLD move to sign Manny Machado and inject 50cc of straight cash into their number 1 ranked farm system, made them just a little bit more interesting. With that being said, I believe the Rox largely untouched roster from their 2018 Wild Card run is enough to knock a temporarily Kershaw-less Doyers squad off of the top.

First Place: Colorado

Last Place: Arizona

Hot Take You Can Uncomfortably Make to Your Friends: The Padres will finish the season over .500 for the first time since 2010, earning them an opportunity to lose a Wild Card game to like the Mets or something.


In what has arguably been the most competitive division in the National League for years, the usual 3-team race is really blown open this season with the Reds’ offseason acquisitions of Yasiel Puig and Sonny Gray, and the Brewers’ catapult into the MLB’s elite. All but Cincinnati finished with winning records last season, and this year they could finally squeak out enough W’s to join the .500 club. Reigning MVP Christian Yelich will lead a more experienced and upgraded Brewers team back into the playoffs, and look for more than just a taste of postseason glory. However, don’t be surprised to find Paul Goldschmidt and his new Cardinals group breathing down their necks heavier than Bartolo eating ribs.

First Place: Milwaukee

Last Place: Pittsburgh

Hot Take You Can Uncomfortably Make to Your Friends: The Cubs will miss out on the Playoffs entirely, freaking them out enough to shop around and trade third baseman Kris Bryant in the following offseason.


“damn yo, the phillys for sure winnin the division cuz they got Harper lol!” That’s something your DUMB coworker who didn’t read this article would say. Yes, all eyes will be on the Phillies to use the team they supplemented with their “stupid money”, to come out on top of a lowly National League East. Despite the huge additions of J.T Realmuto and that Bryce guy, the biggest key for the Phils is going to be the production from Rhys Hoskins in the middle of a now very comfy lineup. But even after their huge offseason, the one thing people seem to be forgetting is that there is another team they have to play 16+ times, and that’s the fuckin’ BRAVES. With what could be the sickest infield in the league now that Donaldson is in the mix, Atlanta is not going to be quick to roll over.

First Place: Atlanta

Last Place: Miami

Hot Take You Can Uncomfortably Make to Your Friends: The Nationals will still finish ahead of the Phillies, and Bryce Harper will never get a hit again and seek out a voodoo witch to put a spell on his bat and bring him back into his MVP status but with the price of always having the feeling that he has to sneeze but he never can actually sneeze. Or maybe just the first part.


A division fairly similar to its NL counterpart, the AL West has really only been dominated by 2 teams in the last few years. The ‘stros should be able to cruise to another division title, but what myself and most other baseball fans will be watching for is whether or not the Angels are finally gonna figure their shit out so we can see Trout in October. The Angels have been a head-scratcher for the last few seasons, because their lineup isn’t shitty by any means, and it’s crazy to think that they’re still in a 3-team race for 2nd place with Oakland and Seattle. I’d love to see another sick run for the A’s, but I think the strength in the rest of the league will edge them out of a wild card spot. Until Oakland decides to pull the trigger on some actual free agents, and Anaheim (I almost hate the “Los Angeles Angels of” name more than the AL EAST) can find some mojo, the west is all Houston.

First Place: Houston

Last Place: Texas

Hot Take You Can Uncomfortably Make to Your Friends: The Mariners will finish with less than 70 wins for the first time since 2011, but will make a 2012-2013 Red Sox-like turnaround and find themselves in contention next season.


With probably the most drastic decline out of any division in the MLB, the AL Central is one I’ll easily admit that I don’t know much about. Of course Cleveland has found their way into the last 3 postseasons, but outside of the Tribe nobody has really made any noise. I would LOVE for Minnesota to have a strong finish and make the playoffs a-la the 2018 Brewers, but they still are a few pieces away from knocking off a consistent Cleveland squad. Outside of the Twinkies, I don’t see anybody except for the White Sox to really create much of a threat, and it will be a dismal year for AL Central fans. And even though I just shit on the entire division, I do believe the tides are changing and the young talent stowed in the farms will bring the Central back to glory in the coming years.

First Place: Cleveland

Last Place: Detroit

Hot Take You Can Uncomfortably Make to Your Friends: Damn I really have nothing here. Maybe like the Indians and the Browns will both make the playoffs for the first time since 1954 (that stat seems insane but i like triple checked it please contact if you don’t believe it because i can’t either)


Dammit that came up way too quickly. In all seriousness, the best division in baseball isn’t changing in 2019, and if anything it only continues to get better. The East should look pretty much the same as it did last year, but it will be exciting to see if the Vlad Jr. led Blue Jays or dangerous Rays (literally and figuratively) can put some pressure on the two-headed New York/Boston beast. I can’t imagine the Orioles will be equally as shitty (although I won’t hold my breath), so it will be fun to see this division get back into its must-see state. And oh will we see it, 13 times thanks to you ESPN. It won’t be as easy as they’d like, but Boston is just too good to let go of the top spot, and they’ll be nervous to find 2 other AL East opponents battling for a World Series spot in October.

First Place: Boston

Last Place: Baltimore

Hot Take You Can Uncomfortably Make to Your Friends: The Yankees will have another rematch coming from the Wild Card slot, but this time they will knock off their Masshole foes and end up in the Fall Classic ©.

So completely copy, argue, or just shit on these takes as you will, but let them help refresh you for the beginning of the 162 game marathon. Also, keep it handy so you can use it against me when the Mets face off against the Tigers in the World Series and Chris Iannetta smacks 56 bombs to win the MVP.

Happy new year.

MLB Playoff Oktoberfest

October is EASILY top 3 as far as months go (maybe even top 2), and with the changing of the leaves come two seasonal events that get America HYPED, The MLB Postseason, and the thousands of completely non-traditional Oktoberfest celebrations that pop up throughout the country.

In light of the most wonderful time of the year (suck it, DECEMBER), I took it upon myself to compare each postseason ballclub to a refreshing craft brew, one you could possibly drink heavily at any Autumn gathering en route to earning the never-before-heard, completely original nickname “Mr. October”.

So come on this journey of taste and takes, and raise a glass to your favorite playoff contender. PROST!

American League

Boston Red Sox – Samuel Adams Boston Lager



Origin: Boston Beer Company (Boston, MA)

Style: Vienna Lager

ABV: 5.0%

“Our original beer is full-flavored with a balance of malty sweetness contrasted by hop spiciness and a smooth finish.” -need better notes

Consistency and control have been the themes of the 2018 Boston Red Sox season, as well as one of the oldest and most well-known craft brews in the country. Sam Adams tastes best when the weather gets cold in the months of Fall, and within the last decade the Sox have been just as much of an Autumn staple. It will be tough for anyone in the American League to unseat this David-turned-Goliath franchise.

Baseball Prediction: The Sox have proven to be the most dominant hitting and pitching team out of anybody in the MLB, and it doesn’t look like they’ll be slowing down anytime soon. If they keep up their pace, they’ll go down as one of the best Boston ballclubs in franchise history, right up there with the ‘04,’07, and ‘13 teams.

Beer Prediction: One of the safest bets around, Sam Adams has proven to be a solid standby in the ever-changing shelves of a liquor store beer fridge. Although you could risk it and go for something sexier like an IPA or stout, Sam’s likely to give you an enjoyable night more often than not.


Houston Astros – Shiner Bock












Origin: Spoetzl Brewery (Shiner, TX)

Style: German Bock

ABV: 4.4%

“Tip back a bock. Brewed with rich roasted barley malt and German specialty hops, this lightly hopped American-styled dark lager always goes down easy. Originally a seasonal beer, fans have demanded it year-round since 1973.”

One through nine, the Astros are the best team in the playoffs, but it’s not like they are doing anything that’s above and beyond. They hit will, they run well, they pitch well, and they win a lot of games. Everyone on this roster makes baseball look easy, and it’s not very often you see them struggle. Houston’s come a long way to build a championship team, and Bregman, Altuve, Springer, and Correa aren’t going down easy.

Baseball Prediction: Houston is good, and their largely untouched roster from the 2017 World Series remains equally as scary. Teams are going to have a tough time getting through their order, and the ‘stros have a great chance to go back-to-back for the first time since the ‘98-’99 Yankees.

Beer Prediction: It’s a no-frills beer that tastes good and gets the job done. Flavorful, but not overly hoppy. Alcoholic, but not too potent. You worked hard for this so let it ride, and get your Texas-sized drunk on.


Cleveland Indians – Edmund Fitzgerald Porter












Origin: Great Lakes Brewing Company (Cleveland,OH)

Style: Porter

ABV: 6.0%

“Robust and complex, our Porter is a bittersweet tribute to the legendary freighter’s fallen crew—taken too soon when the gales of November came early. Brewed in memory of the sunken freighter, with rich roasted barley and bittersweet chocolate-coffee notes.”

Dark and stormy, yet strong and powerful. The perfect juxtaposition of Cleveland sports (especially the Tribe) within the last decade. Terry Francona’s postseason mastery got the Indians within inches of the 2016 championship, and he’ll have to lean on his pitching once more if he wants another shot at a third ring. Luckily for Tito, Cleveland’s staff is still absolutely stacked, and their lineup has remained staunch since their World Series run.

Baseball Prediction: Out of the Indians’ last few playoff appearances, this year’s AL bracket might be the toughest one to come out on top. Playoff experience will go a long way, but Cleveland needs to be lights out on the mound and clutch in the middle of the order if they want to return to the Fall Classic.

Beer Prediction: Be brave, navigate well, and you won’t need too many of these to feel nice and loose. But be wary of the seas ahead, only a couple bad snap-decisions and you could be passed out on the couch at the pregame.



New York Yankees – Brooklyn Pilsner












Origin: Brooklyn Brewing (Brooklyn, NY)

Style: German-Style Pilsner

ABV: 5.1%

“Brooklyn Pilsner is a refreshing golden lager beer, brewed in the style favored by New York’s pre-prohibition brewers. We believe that you will find there to be none finer. [Brooklyn Pilsner] does not contain cheap fillers such as corn or rice, nor does it contain any preservatives or stabilizers. Brooklyn Pilsner is the real thing.”

An American classic like a golden pilsner, the Yankees need no introduction when it comes to playoff baseball. Using their traditional recipe for postseason success, New York managed to yet again build a roster with a tasty blend of pure homegrown talent, and supplement with lavish free-agent fillers. In an injury-ridden season that’s unlikely to end with a 28th ring, ROY candidate Gleyber Torres still channeled his inner Jeter (re2pect) to keep the Yankees playing in their favorite month, and will lead the Bombers to much deeper playoff runs in the future.

Baseball Prediction: The Yanks turned a Wild Card spot into a ALCS run last season, but the odds are stacked against them to pull off a repeat. However, Yankee fans need not worry, as their Pinstripers are loading up for another long reign of terror in the AL.

Beer Prediction: You’ll be happy knocking back a few of these tasty brews in succession, but at some point with all pilsners it’s time to switch things up. Even though now may not the time, these guys are an easy go-to and will always have a claim in your mini-fridge.



Oakland Athletics – Hell Or High Watermelon Wheat




Origin: 21st Amendment Brewery (San Leandro, CA)

Style: Wheat Beer

ABV: 4.9%

“Like Lady Liberty, we stand for independence and perseverance. In the pursuit of innovative beer, there is no obstacle too great. No journey too long. No fruit too gigantic.”

One of the best storylines of the MLB season is Oakland’s Draymond-like leap from the steps of the cellar up to their 95-63 record. With unlikely vets and youngsters producing all over the field, the Athletics overcame the many obstacles of a stingy AL West and put together a pleasantly surprising Wild-Card run. A season as fun and unexpected as a Wheat Beer that’s actually drinkable? That’s Oakland baby.

Baseball Prediction: The A’s hope to finally get over the ALDS hump, and have a great chance to do so behind Khris Davis’ red-hot bat. If they manage to sustain their momentum from September, Oakland could shock some of the American League’s powerhouses.

Beer Prediction: A classic underdog story. You like it, your mom likes it, your beer friend doesn’t mind it. You question how it’s possible to drink four Watermelon beers in a row, but give in to the magic and just keep pounding.


National League


Atlanta Braves – SweetWater IPA











Origin: SweetWater Brewing Company (Atlanta, GA)

Style: American IPA

ABV: 6.3%

“This mammoth IPA is dry-hopped to the gills, delivering a kick-you-in-the-teeth hop chop. This beer is unfiltered, as with all SweetWater’s brews, to leave all the natural flavors intact.”

What a better way to summarize Atlanta’s incredible youth-driven season than with a trendy-ass, hazy-ass, in-your-face IPA. Atlanta’s first playoff team since 2013 is no joke, and is the successful result of a carefully crafted multiple-season rebuild. Led by Rookie of the Year frontrunner Ronald Acuña Jr., their freshly harvested stock of young studs will help return Atlanta to their status as a National League dynasty.

Baseball Prediction: The Bravos have enough pop in their lineup to take care of most NL opponents, but pitching depth and a lack of playoff experience may prove costly as they head deeper into October.

Beer Prediction: You’ll be able to toss back a few of these flavorful brews en route to a solid buzz, but beware the haze. Chances are you’ll fill up early and be forced to succumb to something lighter.



Milwaukee Brewers – New Glarus Spotted Cow












Origin: New Glarus Brewing Company (New Glarus, WI)

Style: Farmhouse Ale

ABV: 4.8%

“Naturally cloudy we allow the yeast to remain in the bottle to enhance fullness of flavors, which cannot be duplicated otherwise. Expect this ale to be fun, fruity and satisfying. You know you’re in Wisconsin when you see the Spotted Cow.”

Fun, fruity, and satisfying is the feeling I have whenever I see Christian Yelich smile. The Brewers have gone toe-to-toe with everyone in the cutthroat NL Central, and Yeli’s led the way with his MVP caliber season. Like New Glarus beers (which are local as fuck and aren’t distributed anywhere outside of Wisconsin), the Brew Crew roll into the playoffs with a badass reputation in their region, but are poised to stay in the national spotlight and become perennial playoff contenders.

Baseball Prediction: Milwaukee is a tough team top-to-bottom, and has enough veteran leadership and talent to take them far. If the rotation holds up, expect to see them wearing the NL Crown.

Beer Prediction: If you managed to smuggle a sixer of these out of America’s Dairyland you’ll be in for a treat, but you gotta pull back the reins in order to make them last. Drink patiently, and your palate will be satisfied.



Chicago Cubs – Goose Island IPA











Origin: Goose Island Beer Co. (Chicago, IL)

Style: English IPA

ABV: 5.9%

“Our India Pale Ale recalls a time when ales shipped from England to India were highly hopped to preserve their distinct taste during the long journey. The result is a hop lover’s dream with a fruity aroma, set off by a dry malt middle, and long hop finish.”

I probably shouldn’t have written the Cubs and Dodgers back to back, as I’ll most likely give them both very disgruntled reviews, but honestly I could care less. I think the biggest comparison of these two is that like the Cubbies, you see Goose Island shit EVERYWHERE. They are both frustratingly popular, however unlike Goose’s kind-of-not-terrible taste, the Cubs are a solid ballclub and are no longer shitty (as they once were).  

Baseball Prediction: No playoff clutchness from Addison Russell is a big loss if the North-Siders want to make a deep run, but their solid regular season play in the NL Central has earned them a good chance. Although this team has stayed consistent since their World Series victory, the rest of the National League has only gotten better, and it’ll be tough for the Chicago to revive the postseason magic of yesteryear.

Beer Prediction: As one of the okay-est beers around, it is a good choice at a stadium or event that doesn’t have any sort of selection. They’ll definitely get the job done, but there’s not really anything special about it anymore after seeing it so often. Also, for being an IPA at only 5.9%, you’re better off looking elsewhere for something more fulfilling.



Colorado Rockies – Dale’s Pale Ale












Origin: Oskar Blues Brewing (Longmont, CO)

Style: American Strong Ale

ABV: 6.5%

“Dale’s Pale Ale is our defiant, proud, voluminously hopped mutha of a pale ale. If you’re looking for a fistful of flavor, look no further than this hopped-up trail ride.  It delivers a hoppy nose and assertive-but-balanced flavors of pale malts and citrusy floral hops from the first sip to the final swig. Dale’s Pale Ale is the beer that started it all.”

It’s time to put the Coors Field inflation talks on the backburner, the Rockies have earned their spot amongst the National League’s elite. Nolan Arenado leads his team of lunch-pail grinders into the playoffs for a second year in a row, and the Rox are licking their chops at a chance to bring postseason baseball back to the Mile High City. Although the pitching and lineup depth still may not be there, Colorado will throw blows (literally) with anybody in the NL.

Baseball Prediction: It always seems like the Rockies are a few pieces away from becoming a World Series ballclub, but when these guys are firing on all cylinders they are tough to beat. An NLCS appearance would be huge for Colorado, and be great benchmark in how far they’ve come.

Beer Prediction: Don’t go into this thinking it’s going to be an easy drinking Pale, otherwise you’ll be three beers in and dancing on top of tables. Although it tastes a little different than what you’re used to, if you play it smart you’ll have quite the night.



Los Angeles Dodgers – 329 Days of Sun Lager












Origin: Golden Road Brewing (Los Angeles, CA)

Style: Lager

ABV: 4.8%

“Crafted in the city that gives us 329 days of sun, 329 Lager is the perfect companion for making the most of sunny California days. Our go anywhere, do anything lager is full-flavored and easy-drinking with a clean, crisp finish”

I’d almost rather just skip LA completely, but unfortunately they have established themselves as regular World Series contenders. The Dodgers share all too many similarities with the Yankees, in their available salary, homegrown studs, and recent track record of success. Los Angeles has the pitching, hitting, and depth to dominate 329 days of the year, but sometimes the other 36 days are the most crucial, and it will take some of that infamous LA showbiz grit to finish as champions.

Baseball Prediction: This team, like Houston, is largely untouched from last year’s World Series, and has gotten annoyingly better. A red-hot Manny Machado at the hot corner, a nasty 1-2 punch rotation/bullpen, and a Matt Kemp that despite all odds still has functioning hips. As much as it pains me to say, Los Doyers will be back in the WS, but still have to find their October mojo to reach the top.

Beer Prediction: Advertised as an easy drinking lager, and one you can drink for 11 months straight, this flavorful brew from Golden Road will easily get you there. However, since it is so incredibly smooth, don’t get so lost in the drinkability that you end up choking and tapping out of the party early.


Week 2 Rankings

Photo via Sports Illustrated


  1. Drew Brees (vs CLE)
  2. Patrick Mahomes (@ PIT)
  3. Ben Roethlisberger (vs KC)
  4. Alex Smith (vs IND)
  5. Russell Wilson (@ CHI)
  6. Tom Brady (@ JAX)
  7. Kirk Cousins (@ GB)
  8. Aaron Rodgers (vs MIN)
  9. DeShaun Watson (@ TEN)
  10. Jimmy Garappolo (vs DET)
  11. Philip Rivers (@ BUF)
  12. Andrew Luck (@ WAS)


  1. Alvin Kamara (vs CLE)
  2. Todd Gurley (vs ARI)
  3. Melvin Gordon (@ BUF)
  4. James Connor (vs KC)
  5. Saquon Barkley (@ DAL)
  6. Dalvin Cook (@ GB)
  7. David Johnson (@ LAR)
  8. Joe Mixon (vs BAL) – Mixon out-snapped Gio 42-14, and out-touched him 22-2. Only Alfred Morris had more carries inside the 5 in Week 1.
  9. Ezekiel Elliott (vs NYG)
  10. Jordan Howard (vs SEA)
  11. Kareem Hunt (@ PIT)
  12. Christian McCaffrey (@ ATL)
  13. Dion Lewis (vs HOU)
  14. Lamar Miller (@ TEN)
  15. Adrian Peterson (vs IND)
  16. Carlos Hyde (@ NO)
  17. Alex Collins (vs CIN) – Fresh legs after receiving only eight touches in a blowout against the Bills. No LB Vontaze Burfict is a plus, but the Bengals have a stout run defense.
  18. Kenyan Drake (@ NYJ)
  19. Devonta Freeman (vs CAR)
  20. Jay Ajayi (@ TB)
  21. Leonard Fournette (vs NE)
  22. James White (@ JAX)
  23. Alfred Morris (vs DET)
  24. Chris Thompson (vs IND)
  25. Peyton Barber (vs PHI)
  26. LeSean McCoy (vs LAC)
  27. Chris Carson (@ CHI)
  28. Jamaal Williams (vs MIN)
  29. Isaiah Crowell (vs MIA)
  30. Bilal Powell (vs MIA)
  31. Royce Freeman (vs OAK)
  32. Tevin Coleman (vs CAR)
  33. TJ Yeldon (vs NE)
  34. Derrick Henry (vs HOU)
  35. Rex Burkhead (@ JAX) 
  36. Jordan Wilkins (@ WAS)
  37. Phillip Lindsey (vs OAK)
  38. Marshawn Lynch (@ DEN)
  39. Matt Breida (vs DET)
  40. Austin Ekeler (@ BUF)
  41. Kerryon Johnson (@ SF)
  42. Duke Johnson (@ NO)
  43. Tarik Cohen (vs SEA)
  44. Frank Gore (@ NYJ)
  45. Javorius Allen (@ CIN) – Secure passing down role with sneaky touchdown upside. The Bengals gave up the third-most receptions to running backs in Week 1.
  46. Rashaad Penny (@ CHI)
  47. Jalen Richard (@ DEN)
  48. Latavius Murray (@ GB)


  1. Antonio Brown (vs KC) 
  2. Julio Jones (vs CAR)
  3. Michael Thomas (vs CLE)
  4. Tyreek Hill (@ PIT)
  5. Odell Beckham (@ DAL)
  6. Keenan Allen (@ BUF)
  7. DeAndre Hopkins (@ TEN)
  8. Adam Thielen (@ GB)
  9. Stefon Diggs (@ GB)
  10. AJ Green (vs BAL) – The Ravens defense looked daunting against the Bills, but so would I. No Jimmy Smith is a huge boost for Green in a matchup where he should see 10+ targets.
  11. Emmanuel Sanders (vs OAK)
  12. Mike Evans (vs PHI)
  13. JuJu Smith-Schuster (vs KC)
  14. Jarvis Landry (@ NO)
  15. Larry Fitzgerald (@ LAR)
  16. Davante Adams (vs MIN) 
  17. Golden Tate (@ SF)
  18. TY Hilton (@ WAS)
  19. Randall Cobb (vs MIN)
  20. Chris Hogan (@ JAX)
  21. Kenny Stills (@ NYJ)
  22. Allen Robinson (vs SEA)
  23. Brandin Cooks (vs ARI)
  24. Nelson Agholor (@ TB)
  25. Demaryius Thomas (vs OAK)
  26. Josh Gordon (@ NO)
  27. Corey Davis (vs HOU)
  28. Marvin Jones (@ SF)
  29. Amari Cooper (@ DEN)
  30. Quincy Enunwa (vs MIA)
  31. Tyler Lockett (@ CHI)
  32. Jamison Crowder (vs IND)
  33. Cooper Kupp (vs ARI)
  34. Robert Woods (vs ARI)
  35. John Brown (vs CIN) – Locked in as Baltimores number-one option, and led the team in redzone targets.
  36. Kenny Golladay (@ SF)
  37. Robby Anderson (vs MIA)
  38. Keelan Cole (vs NE)
  39. Danny Amendola (@ NYJ)
  40. Dante Pettis (vs DET)
  41. Cole Beasley (vs NYG)
  42. Ryan Grant (@ WAS)
  43. Sterling Shephard (@ DAL)
  44. Devin Funchess (@ ATL)
  45. Brandon Marshall (@ CHI)
  46. Mike Williams (@ BUF)
  47. Geronimo Allison (vs MIN)
  48. Jordy Nelson  (@ DEN)
  49. Pierre Garcon (vs DET)
  50. Chris Godwin (vs PHI)
  51. Tre’Quan Smith (vs CLE)
  52. Sammy Watkins (@ PIT)
  53. Dede Westbrooks (vs NE)\
  54. Michael Crabtree (vs CIN) – Proved to still be an elite an elite redzone target in Week 1, but hasn’t cleared 60 yards in eight straight games, per Evan Silva.
  55. Courtland Sutton (vs OAK)
  56. Phillip Dorsett (@ JAX)
  57. Paul Richardson (vs IND)
  58. Bruce Ellington (@ TEN)
  59. Allen Hurns (vs NYG)
  60. Mohammed Sanu (vs CAR)


  1. Rob Gronkowski (@ JAX)
  2. Zach Ertz (@TB)
  3. Travis Kelce (@ PIT)
  4. George Kittle (vs DET)
  5. Jordan Reed (vs IND)
  6. Trey Burton (vs SEA)
  7. Jared Cook (@ DEN)
  8. Evan Engram (@ DAL)
  9. Jack Doyle (@ WAS)
  10. Tyler Eifert (vs BAL) – Eifert will only be used on passing downs, but is always a great bet to score.
  11. Jimmy Graham (vs MIN)
  12. Kyle Rudolph (@ GB)
  13. Ricky Seals-Jones (@ LAR)
  14. Nick Boyle (@ CIN) – Led all Ravens tight ends with a 66% snap rate, and six targets. No team is more generous to tight ends than the Bengals.
  15. Ben Watson (vs CLE)
  16. Austin Seferian-Jenkins (vs NE)
  17. Eric Ebron (@ WAS)
  18. Will Dissly (@ CHI)
  19. David Njoku (@ NO)
  20. Ian Thomas (@ ATL)
  21. OJ Howard (vs PHI)
  22. Jonnu Smith (vs HOU)
  23. Mike Gesicki  (@ NYJ)
  24. Jake Butt (vs OAK)


  1. Chargers (@ BUF)
  2. Rams (vs ARI)
  3. Jets (vs MIA)
  4. Vikings (@ GB)
  5. Jaguars (vs NE)
  6. Bears (@ SEA)
  7. Saints (vs CLE)
  8. Eagles (@ TB)
  9. Broncos (vs OAK)
  10. Texans (@ TEN)
  11. Ravens (@ CIN)
  12. Panthers (@ ATL)


Week 1 Rankings

Photo via USA Today


1. Aaron Rodgers – He’s Aaron Rodgers.

2. Tom Brady – Torched the Texans last season to the tune of 378 yards and five touchdowns. Should be shootout with DeShaun Watson.


3. DeShaun Watson – Didn’t have Will Fuller the last time he played New England, and still dropped 341 total yards and two touchdowns.


4. Drew Brees – New Orleans will have their way with Tampa Bay, and no CB Brent Grimes is only insult to injury.

5. Cam Newton – Dallas’ defensive line will give the Panther’s injured line trouble, but his best supporting cast and rushing capabilities keep Cam a great play.


6. Matt Stafford – I think the Jets young defense will ascend this season, but Stafford will catch them at the right time with his most well-rounded cast yet.


7. Kirk Cousins – The Niners best pass defender is a 30-year-old coming off an Achilles’ injury.


8. Russell Wilson – I’m high on Wilson this year, but I’m not ready to rank him too high until he proves he can maintain his play with Doug Baldwin and…Jaron Brown?


9. Jared Goff – The Raiders secondary is composed of players way past their prime, with zero pass rush. Game script is the only thing holding back Goff.


10. Andy Dalton – The Bengals secretly have some of the best weapons in football. He’ll be throwing against a team that is relying on storebrand cornerbacks Pierre Desir and Kenny Moore

11. Philip Rivers – Going against one of the worst secondaries in football with an over/under of 48.5.

12. Ben Roethlisberger – Normally any quarterback going against the Browns pass D is a must-start, but the weather in Cleveland scares me.


1. Todd Gurley – Todd Gurley will destroy the Raiders with receptions in the first half, and put them away by milking the clock in the second half. There’s a decent chance this is his best game of the season.

2. Alvin Kamara – Dropped 280 total yards and three touchdowns in two meetings last season. Essentially zero competition for workload.



3. Melvin Gordon – The Chiefs have one of the worst run defenses in football. Receiving usage will be boosted in a shootout.


4. David Johnson – Running will be tough going against a healthy Alabama duo of  Jonathan Allen and Daron Payne, but the offense will still run through DFJ, on the air or the ground.


5. Ezekiel Elliott – Gets a boost from LB Thomas Davis’ suspension, and 25+ touches a game make up for any injuries on the offensive line.


6. Leonard Fournette – Increased usage in the passing game + Giants signing horrible coverage linebacker Alec Ogletree x positive game script = potential to be the RB1 in Week 1.


7. Kareem Hunt – Per Evan Silva, the Chargers D yielded the 13th-most receptions to running backs last season.

8. Christian McCaffrey – Already looked like a league winner in the preseason, and the Cowboys allowed the sixth-most receptions to RBs last year.

9. Joe Mixon – The Colts were one the worst teams in football against running backs last year, a perfect catalyst to Mixon’s breakout year.

10. Saquon Barkley – This will be Barkley’s hardest matchup all year. Fresh legs and volume are the only things keeping him this high.

11. Alex Collins – Looking at the best game script of any back this week, and goes against a Bills run D that went to the shitter after trading away Marcell Dareus.

12. Jordan Howard – In what figures to be a shootout, we’ll finally get to see if Nagy’s talk of Howard’s increased passing game usage is the real thing or just smoke and mirrors.

13. LeSean McCoy – Volume trumps anything else going against McCoy this week, which is…everything.

14. Rex Burkhead – Will be used a ton in the passing against against a defense that’s returning JJ Watt and

15. Jamaal Williams – The Packers like to use one running back at a time, and right now Williams is the guy. Mack figures to be used sparingly.

16. Kenyan Drake – League-winning upside in the long term, but that’s if we know what the deal is with Frank Gore. That’s what this week is for.

17. Lamar Miller – Figures to be an every-down back with a ton of receiving upside against New England’s porous defense.

18. James Conner – DC Greg Williams sole goal is to stop the run, and while that may not be smart in terms of real football, it is an unfortunate obstacle for Conner’s first professional start.

19. Dalvin Cook – I think the Vikings will plan to ease Cook in with a 50/50 split to start the season. A lot of the offense should go through the air against the Niners.

20. Marshawn Lynch – The loss of Rams’ ILB Mark Barron is a good sign, but this game could get ugly quick.

21. Royce Freeman – While the timeshare with Booker hasn’t been great, Freeman has earned every right to get 65%+ of Denver’s backfield touches.

22. Derrick Henry – Figures to get out-snap Dion Lewis with positive gamescript.

23. Carlos Hyde – Has held off Nick Chubb so far, and figures to be the focal point of the Browns offense in a storm that might include 40+ MPH wind.

24. Adrian Peterson – Fresh legs running behind a healthy Redskins line. Will lose passing downs to Chris Thompson.

25. Chris Carson – Denver has an elite run defense that just added Bradley Chubb, but Carson is the only trustworthy back in Seattles backfield right now.

26. Peyton Barber – Should get the start, but is in danger of losing third-down touches to Jacquizz Rodgers.

27. Dion Lewis – Passing down back with early-down capabilities.

28. Chris Thompson – Will receive a ton of passing work, but might get eased in.

29. Kerryon Johnson – The Jets have a middling run defense, and Johnson is the most talented in this backfield. I just think it’s going to take some time before he gets the lions share (haha) of touches.

30. Jordan Wilkins – This is a dart throw. He’s the most talented of the bunch.

31. Bilal Powell – Preseason suggests he’ll be the Jets’ lead back. Preseason also suggests the Lions have a bottom-of-the-barrel run defense.

32. Alfred Morris – Not a sexy pick, but he’s the favorite to lead the Niners in carries. Just won’t be a great week against the Vikings spotless defense.

33. Matt Breida – Should get the change-of-pace role, may have earned a stronger role than suggested.

34. Duke Johnson – Gets knocked due to poor weather.

35. Giovani Bernard – Should get 7-10 touches.

36. James White – The healthiest player in the Patriots backfield. Dark horse to lead them in touches in Week 1.

37. Ty Montgomery – Supreme talent. Might be used as a passing down back.

38. Devontae Booker – Sub-par talent. Is the passing down back.

39. Tarik Cohen – Huge question mark heading into Week 1, but has Tyreek Hill upside.

40. Theo Riddick – Huge bump in full PPR.

42. Legarrette Blount – One of the best goal line backs in football.

43. CJ Anderson – Could steal a touchdown or two.

44. Javorius Allen – Solidified role as passing down back.

45. Frank Gore – What are you doing, Miami?

46. Doug Martin – Stinks.

47. Christine Michael – Not sure if he’s real.

48. Jeremy Hill – Bill hates your fantasy team.


1. AJ Green – Tell me the name of one Colts cornerback. Until then, Green stays second to kick off the season. (Ignore my Andy Dalton post)


2. DeAndre Hopkins – Stephon Gilmore is looking like an elite corner, but any game with DeShaun Watson automatically puts Nuk in top-five territory.


3. Antonio Brown – No Le’Veon and HoF talent negate any concerns about weather.


4. Keenan Allen – The Chiefs will essentially trot out four slot cornerbacks in Week 1.


5. Michael Thomas – Vernon Hargreaves doesn’t stand a chance against Thomas and the Saints passing offense.

6. Stefon Diggs – Always a hot starter, and what better start than a cornerback who runs in quicksand?


7. Odell Beckham Jr. – The Jaguars defense is always scary, but a Jaylen Ramsey ankle injury helps Beckham’s outlook.


8. Adam Thielen – If you haven’t noticed, the Niners pass D is bad.

9. Davante Adams – The Bears D is ready for liftoff, but being Rodgers favorite target is matchup proof.

10. Larry Fitzgerald – Will be defended by something call a “Fabian Moreua.”

11. Chris Hogan – Expected to hog targets against a team he dropped 4/68/2 on last year.

12. Tyreek Hill – Hill’s speed paired with Mahomes’ arm essentially makes him an every-week WR1.

13. Doug Baldwin – Legitimately might get 15 targets. Knees and matchups be damned.

14. Brandin Cooks – Oakland’s lack of pass rush pairs perfectly with Cooks’ straight-line speed.  

15. TY Hilton – WIlliam Jackson III will be a well-known name by the end of the season. You better hope the Colts put TY in the slot.

16. Mike Evans – Has had nasty splits against the Saints, matched up on Lattimore, and Fitz is still a downgrade.

17. JuJu Smith-Schuster – Any and all players who catch or throw a football in this game receive a major downgrade.

18. Josh Gordon – Freakish upside who gets extra downside in storm. Reporter claims “I have not seen a worse weather forecast for a Browns game in the almost 16 years I have been here and that includes snow events”

19. Allen Robinson – I’m higher on the Packer’s corners than most, and Trubisky still needs to develop rapport with Robinson.

20. Amari Cooper – I’m afraid of all Raiders in this matchup, and Ryan Switzer taking Cooper out of the slot is a bummer.

21. Robert Woods  – Start. All. Rams.

22. Cooper Kupp – ^^^^

23. Emmanuel Sanders – Slot reps give Sanders the best matchup between him and Thomas.

24. Golden Tate – A matchup with Buster Skrine and sheer volume gives Tate the nod over Marvin Jones.

25. Marvin Jones – The Jets are secretly very talented on the outside.

26. Devin Funchess – Still the number one option out of Cam’s receivers, despite zero offseason buzz.

27. Demaryius Thomas – Figures to run against Shaq Griffin, which is a downgrade.

28. Jarvis Landry – A slot receiver against Pittsburgh’s zone defense is always a plus, but you know…wind.

29. Corey Davis – Mariota’s been a question mark in the preseason, and will go against ascending corner Xavien Howard.

30. Robby Anderson – Figures to match up with Darius Slay.

31. Jamison Crowder – Should avoid Patrick Peterson in the slot, but still don’t know Smith’s favorite target.

32. Randall Cobb – Rodger’s second favorite receiver. Yes, please.

33. John Brown – Has looked better than Crabtree this year, and is the healthiest he’s been in a while.

34. Michael Crabtree – Favorite for red zone targets.

35. Will Fuller – Upside is through the roof as long as he’s healthy…which he may not be.

36. Jordy Nelson – Still kinda iffy in this game, but a shootout is always possible.

37. Tyrell Williams – Underrated in every aspect heading into this season, Tyrell is a sneaky start this week.

38. Kenny Stills – Could be the Dolphins number-one option with no Devante Parker.

39. Rishard Matthews – Figures to benefit from no Xavien Howard.

40. Keelan Cole – Number-one option on a run-first team. Should lead the Jaguars in targets in Week 1.

41. Marquise Goodwin – Vikings will probably have the best defense in football this year.

42. Quincy Enunwa – Oversized slot receiver who may lead the Jets in targets this week.

43. John Ross – The Bengals offense will be on full display against the sieve-like Colts D.

44. Kelvin Benjamin – Literally SOMEONE has to catch a pass for the Bills.

45. Allen Hurns – Literally SOMEONE has to catch a pass for the Cowboys.

46. Sterling Shepard – Could benefit as the least-covered option on the Giants.

47. Dede Westbrook – Has the easiest matchup against B.W. Webb.

48. Ted Ginn – Always a threat for a big play and might be Saints second option.

49. Pierre Garcon – Not very high on Garcon in general, and coming back from a neck injury to face to the Vikings in Minnesota is an ugly welcome back.

50. Sammy Watkins – Zero connection with Mahomes in the preseason.

51. Kenny Golladay – Golladay games will come this season, but that is not this day!!!

52. Chris Godwin – Fitzpatrick is bad.

53. Donte Moncrief – Slow as hell but he scores touchdowns.

54. Phillip Dorsett – Someone else on the Patriots might catch a pass.

55. DeSean Jackson – Still fast.

56. Anthony Miller – Looked cool in the preseason.

57. Michael Gallup – Also looked cool in the preseason.








1. Rob Gronkowski – Every game Gronk is healthy he is ranked first. Those are the rules.

*The Grand Canyon*

2. Travis Kelce – Doesn’t have a great history with the Chargers, but is one of the most talented tight ends in the league, so it doesn’t matter.


3. Jordan Reed – Will be a gamechanger before he goes to IR in Week 3.


4. Tyler Eifert – Will be a gamechanger before he goes to IR in Week 3.


5. Delanie Walker – Still Mariota’s favorite target.


6. Greg Olsen – Sean Lee is a concern, but still a safe pick.


7. Jimmy Graham – Ceiling is two touchdowns, floor is two targets.


8. Jack Doyle – Should absolutely dust Cincinnati. One of my favorite plays this week.

9. Trey Burton – Looked like Trubisky’s favorite target. Have you ever heard of the Philly Special?

10. Kyle Rudolph – Kirk Cousins loves his tight ends, and I’ll leave you to make a joke about that.

11. Evan Engram – Jaguars aren’t exactly forgiving to tight ends.

12. George Kittle – Vikings are so damn scary.

13. Austin Seferian-Jenkins – See “Ogletree, Alec.”


14. David Njoku – Have I mentioned the weather?

15. Charles Clay – Ravens are secretly susceptible to tight ends.


16. Ben Watson – Every Saint is going to get an opportunity.


17. Ricky Seals-Jones – Could be second on the Cardinals in targets.


18. Vance McDonald – If he’s healthy, no team is more giving to tight ends.


19. Jared Cook – Gruden loved Cook in the offseason.


20. OJ Howard – Talent is the only thing keeping him here.


21. Mike Gesicki – Rookie tight ends are slow to start, but Gesicki could be a TE1 by season’s end.


22. Antonio Gates – Red zone target, but he’ll have some rust to shake off.

23. Cameron Brate – He’s, ya know…there.

24. Eric Ebron – Eh.








1. Ravens

2. Saints

3. Rams

4. Jaguars

5. Chargers

6. Vikings

7. Lions

8. Broncos

9. Packers

10. Titans

11. Bengals

12. Panthers


Chris & Craig’s Fantasy Football Sleeper Lineups

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A top-101 is great, but leagues can be won at the end of the draft. Craig and I each made our own sleeper lineups consisting of players being drafted in the 12th round or later. We didn’t necessarily go for the “best” players, but those who are a little more exciting with decent room for upside, who you can either get in the last few rounds, or even off your waiver wire


QBBlake Bortles – Bortles has been a top-12 QB every year outside of his rookie season. Since coming into the league, only Cam Newton, Russell Wilson, and Tyrod Taylor have more rushing yards. Also, what’s funnier than winning with Blake Bortles?

RBJordan Wilkins – With Marlon Mack sidelined, Nyheim Hines rubbing butter on his hands before games, Robert Turbin eating steroids, and Christine Michael possibly being a figment of our imagination, Wilkins can runaway with the starting job.

RBJonathan Williams – Looking like the favorite to fill in the Mark Ingram role in Weeks 1-4. It was only last season that Willie Snead barely received one target a game when he returned from suspension, so Williams could hold on to this job.

WRTyrell Williams – A catch-radius freak according to PlayerProfiler, Williams has a decent chance to lead the Chargers in touchdowns.

WR Chris Godwin – A SPARQ stud and Twitter favorite who figures to see a lot of outside work this season, we might finally get our Chris Godwin Breakout Year. Dirk Koetter’s inability to recognize talent could be his biggest obstacle.

WRCourtland Sutton – Courtland Sutton is Demaryius Thomas 2.0, while Demaryius Thomas is turning into Demaryius Thomas 0.5. Get’s a huge boost if Chad Kelly takes over.

TEAustin Seferian-Jenkins – Just turning 26 this year, Seferian-Jenkins has a chance to put it all together in a Jacksonville receiving core that doesn’t have a main receiver. Ceiling is Tyler Eifert, but healthy.

FLEXAustin Ekeler – Started stealing a decent number of touches from Melvin Gordon in 2017 before going down with an injury. Could be Rivers’ new Danny Woodhead.



QBAlex Smith – Last year’s QB4 just came to an offense that produced back-to-back QB5 performances out of Kirk Cousins. Currently getting drafted as the QB18.

RB – TJ Yeldon – In the three games Yeldon played without Fournette, he carried the ball 27 times for 190 yards (7.03 ypc) with eight catches for 51 yards. Elite handcuff.

RB – Jeremy Hill – Currently healthy and capability around the goal line are the two reasons why Jeremy Hill could be this years “randomly finishes as the RB11” Patriots running back.

WR – James Washington – In typical Pittsburgh fashion, Washington is among the long list of young WRs who have excelled immediately. Has already secured the third WR spot with Martavis gone.

WR – Mike Williams – The injury to Hunter Henry makes Williams the next man up for red zone target vacuum. After in an injury-riddled rookie season, the 2017 seventh overall draft pick looks great this preseason.

WRMichael Gallup – Someone has to catches passes in Dallas, amiright?? Allen Hurns, Terrance Williams, and Cole Beasley are the least intimidating competition in the league for the highly talented Gallup.

TERicky Seals-Jones – Per, every tight end who has played with Sam Bradford, except for Brent Celek, has never had a better season in terms of receptions or yards before or after their season with a healthy Bradford.

FLEX  – WR John Ross – The last three seasons in Cincinnati, the #2 WR (Marvin Jones/Brandon Lafell) has averaged 60-742-4. Both are out of the picture, giving John Ross the opportunity to take over. He’s very fast.