IMPORTANT: Top 8 Most Attractive Sitcom Casts

 

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With everything that’s going on in the world, I thought it would be appropriate to write about something that matters, something tangible and intelligent. Here is the definitive ranking of sitcom casts that are easy on the eyes. Remember, we’re talking sitcoms only here. Sorry Riverdale fans, no Cole Sprouse on this one.

8. That ’70s Show

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Although this cast doesn’t match the consistency of other shows, the break out performances of Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher in the latter half of the show jolts this sitcom into the Elite 8. And they got married in real life! What’s better than two hot rich famous people getting married?

7. How I Met Your Mother

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The show jumped from 8 to 7 when I found out who the mother was.

6. Will & Grace

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No stand out all-stars here, but Will & Grace showcases four attractive leads living it up in New York City, acting as the bizarro version of Seinfeld (excluding the lovely Elaine Benes of course).

 

5. The Good Place

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After only two seasons, The Good Place has cemented itself as one of the most clever and refreshing shows on air. But this is a list of looks, and Kristen Bell, Jameela Jamil, William Jackson Harper, Manny Jacinto, and hell even Ted Danson make staring at this cast taste like a little slice of heaven (IM SORRY).

 

4. Community

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Most of you forgot about Community didn’t you? This show sneakily slides in at #4 because of slept on lookers like Joel McHale, Alison Brie, Gillian Jacobs, Donald Glover, and more.

3. Modern Family

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Like most modern families, this show features very attractive people of all ages, ethnicities, and genders.

2. New Girl

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If your girlfriend hasn’t mentioned how cute Nick Miller is then she’s a robot.

 

1. Friends

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If this isn’t your #1 then unsubscribe from everything. To better quantify the number of attractive characters on this show, let me quote the great LeBron James at his Miami Heat welcome party in 2010, “Not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, not 5,” that’s right SIX. Joey Tribbiani and Rachel Green lead the way like Jordan and Pippen to a perfect 6-for-6 during their historic 90s-00s run.

 

 

WTF Is Going On With Avatar?

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Do you remember the movie Avatar? The science fiction mega hit centered on the exotic alien world of Pandora? Staring Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, and Sigourney Weaver? Yes, I do too. We all do. That’s because, to this day, it remains the highest grossing film of all time, earning $2,787,965,087. Months after the film was released, 20th Century Fox as well as director, writer, producer, and co-editior James Cameron announced two sequels were confirmed, with a fourth and fifth film coming later as well.

Avatar was released in 2009.

It is now 2018.

What is happening.

In nine years, have you read or heard anything regarding these sequels? There have been no trailers, no teasers, nothing. Nothing for nine years! Are they even filming? Was there a setback? Are they even still happening? Should I even care anymore? The most successful film of all time has essentially disappeared.

Nine years is a long time to care about something. In 2009, “Boom Boom Pow” by The Black Eyed Peas was #1 on Billboard’s Top 100, Cali Swag District had bestowed upon us the infamous Dougie with their hit single “Teach Me How To Dougie,” and Tiger Woods was a faithful husband… well, for most of 2009. My point is, The Black Eyed Peas, Cali Swag District, and Tiger Woods’ marital status are irrelevant now. Avatar, despite its mixed critical reviews, was a groundbreaking film, featuring never before seen motion capture technology and a shockingly elaborate and captivating world Cameron let us discover. Although people tarnished the films originality from a narrative perspective, labeling the story as Pocahontas 2.0, the film undeniably made a connection with its audience. So why has it been nine years?! Why are they allowing this franchise to become irrelevant? Why does this make me so angry?

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I looked in to this to give the public what they deserve. Here is what I have learned is going on in Pandora as of 2018:

  • Yes, the second and third films are still in production. They began filming in September 2017 and are scheduled to release in December 2020, and December 2021, respectively. That’s right, 11 YEARS in between the most successful movie ever made and its sequel. James Cameron is notoriously slow at developing projects (he first had the idea for Avatar in 1994), but considering he already made the first one, you’d think producing a second in 11 years is feasible.
  • The fourth and fifth films are scheduled to begin filming as soon as the second and third are finished, and are set to release in 2024, and 2025, respectively. However, Cameron told Vanity Fair in a 2017 interview, “Let’s face it, if Avatar 2 and 3 don’t make enough money, there’s not going to be a 4 and 5.” So there’s that.

Alright, just so we’re all on the same page here: Avatar (2009), Avatar 2 (2020), Avatar 3 (2021), Avatar 4 (2024), and Avatar 5 (2025). One movie in 11 years and the next four in five years. Makes sense.

James Cameron is in fact, directing, producing, and writing all four sequels. The original cast is set to reprise their roles, however Sigourney Weaver will be playing a new character. New additions to the cast include Cliff Curtis and Kate Winslet, although which characters they will portray remains unknown.

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Also, I’m oddly accepting of the fact that the humans named the precious mineral of Pandora unobtanium. At first, it sounded impressively unoriginal, but I then I decided to peruse the Periodic Table to see how many elements have stupid sounding names, and here are a just a few (of many) I found.

  • Americium – Named after Amerigo Vespucci
  • Livermorium – Named after some dude named Rob Livermore
  • Californium – This element is just a shaka sign
  • Berkelium – Somehow this isn’t weed

If these can exist, I have no qualms with an unobtainable mineral from a distant planet possessing the name unobtanium.

So, will we ever see what happened to Jake after he permanently transferred to his Na’vi avatar and left Earth behind? Will human beings ever return to Pandora? At this point, we may as well call the Avatar sequels unobtanium.

Craig & Jared’s Month of Food in Review: Month 3

Month 3 was the strongest so far in our culinary journey. Is that because three of the four restaurants were in Koreatown? Probably. As always, for a more in depth look at these restaurants as well a weekly update in the world of food news, check out Chew-001: A Food Podyssey, located in the Listen tab.

Boo’s Philly Cheesesteaks (Jared’s Pick)

Location: 3377 Wilshire Blvd #103, Los Angeles, CA 90010

Craig’s Order: Boo’s Sweet Pepper Cheesesteak – Thinly sliced steak with grilled onions, sweet bell peppers and your choice of cheese (white American). Small side of fries.

Total: $13

Jared’s Order: Boo’s Sweet Pepper Cheesesteak – Thinly sliced steak with grilled onions, sweet bell peppers and your choice of cheese (white American). Small side of fries.

Total: $13

Thoughts: A hole in the wall amongst a crowded collection of restaurants and shops in Koreatown, Boo’s offers an authentic bite that’ll bring you right back to Philly (Not going to lie I’ve never been!). But I have had several east coast Philly cheesesteaks, and this one is among the best I’ve had. It’s as good as it’s going to get in LA, that’s for sure. Created originally in New Jersey by immigrants of South Korea with the help of their son, Boo’s has spread its wings to the west coast—opening up spots in Koreatown and Silverlake. What really stands out is the dedication to authenticity, flying out Amoroso Rolls from Philadelphia to hug the savory, sweet, and spicy meat and peppers.

Craig & Jared’s Score: 8.5/10

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Boo’s Sweet Pepper Cheesesteak and Fries

 

Sushi Ippo – All you can eat sushi (Craig’s Pick)

Location: 3800 Wilshire Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90010

Craig’s Order: All You Can Eat Lunch Special

Total: $21.99

Jared’s Order: All You Can Eat Lunch Special

Total: $21.99

Thoughts: Sushi Ippo pretty much checks off every box in an AYCE (all you can eat) sushi restaurant. The place itself is large, with high ceilings and ample seating. Service was caring and efficient, quickly switching out our checklist when it was time for another round of food. The soft Korean pop music was a fun addition as well. The menu offers an extensive list of sushi as well as appetizers and a la carte entree options like teriyaki chicken. Jared and I came here with a view friends, one of whom is vegan, and he was delighted to see how many accommodating options were included on the menu. If you want to spend $22 on eight rolls instead of two, head to Sushi Ippo in Koreatown for lunch.

Craig & Jared’s Score: 8.25/10

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Kyochon – Korean Wings (Craig’s Pick)

Location: 3833 W 6th St, Los Angeles, CA 90020

Craig and Jared’s Order: Small orders (10-12 wings per flavor) of soy garlic, honey, and hot wings. With sides of ranch and garlic sauce

Total: $11.99 per flavor x 3 flavors = $35.97

Thoughts: Standing proudly on the corner of 6th and Serrano Street in the food haven known as Koreatown, Kyochon will meet every need a Korean wing lover desires. The restaurant mimics a chrome/wooden industrial look similar to chipotle. The plain walls and unassuming  decor give way to the star of the show, the wings. The restaurant cleverly offers an order at the counter option for a to go orders only, and a sit down waiter experience for dine-ins, which enables faster and more organized service. The menu is simple, offering primarily wings, which is all you are going to want to order. The heat, crispiness, and juiciness of the wings are the best I have had in LA. They also deliver until 1am so……yeah, this place has everything. Price is reasonable, but you’re going to want a lot of wings, So plan on spending about $15. My recommendation: The hot wings and the honey wings.

Craig & Jared’s Score: 9.5/10

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Front Left: Hot Wing. Front Right: Honey Wing. Back Left: Soy Garlic

Delancey | Pizzeria & Bar (Roommate Mike’s Pick)

Location: 5936 Sunset Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90028

Craig’s Order: The Crosby – Pesto, Mozzarella, Goat Cheese, Olives & Marinated Chiles. Added garlic for $1

Total: $17

Jareds Order: The Essex – Chicken Parm Pie

Total: $18

Our Other Friends Order: The Bay Ridge – Mozzarella, Italian Sausage & Pepperoni. And The Hudson – Italian Sausage, Smoked Mozzarella, Chili & Pepperonata

Total: $17 and $16 respectively

Thoughts: As former New York food dwellers, pizza has been the missing piece in our quest for LA food nirvana. It just seems like no where in this city can offer a great pizza at a reasonable price at a place that doesn’t have white table cloths. Delancey comes close and feels like the best we are going to find for some time. Delancey’s dimly lit brick interior does its best to invoke its inner Brooklyn, while pushing for a classier high end pizza parlor. The restaurant was filled with young adults out for a “wait out the traffic” pie and beer evening with coworkers. The pies themselves, were quite delicious, serving thin pizzas with a crispy, airy crust. The size of these pizza’s were also a nice surprise considering most “higher end” pizza places usually limit the size of their pie’s because “giant pizza’s aren’t classy” I guess. These pizza’s (tentatively) warrant their price with a comfortable but not overwhelming amount of options, all of which (we tried 4 different pizza’s in total) tasted great. The menu does a great job of respecting traditional New York Italian toppings while mixing in a modern flare that urges you to try something new.  With an extensive beer menu, hip corporate coworkers around you, and surprisingly tasty za’s, Delancey is worth a second visit.

Craig & Jared’s Score: 8.25/10

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The Crosby – Pesto, Mozzarella, Goat Cheese, Olives & Marinated Chiles, Garlic

Craig & Jared’s Month of Food in Review: Month 2

It was a strong month for eating out. Jared, Mike, and I all came through with some quality spots, with the lowest score of the month a reasonable 6.5. We’re only two months in, and us hungry boys are starting to hit our culinary stride.

Bon appétit.

1. Guisados – Hip taco spot (Jared’s Pick)

Location: 8935 Santa Monica Blvd, West Hollywood, CA 90069

$2.75 for meat tacos and $3.00 for fish tacos

Craigs Order: Tinga de pollo, chorizo, camarones, and my FAVORITE pescado: (Grilled white fish, served atop black beans. Topped with cabbage, avocado/ cilantro cream, chile arbol, and pico de gallo)

Total: $12

Jareds Order: Steak Picado, FAVORITE mole poblano: (Shredded chicken breast in a nutty Poblano style Mole. Served with sour cream, queso fresco, red onion and dried chile),, chicharron, chorizo quesadilla

Total: $11.50

Thoughts: If you’re a San Diego loc you’ll know what I mean when I say this is the closest thing to City Tacos that LA has to offer.

Craig & Jared’s score: 8.5/10

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Craig’s order: Starting top left, top right, bottom left, and bottom right: Tinga de pollo, chorizo, camarones, pescado

2. Commerson – Buzzy American bistro (Craig’s Pick)

Location: 788 S La Brea Ave, Los Angeles CA 90036

Craig’s Order: Wild pacific white shrimp and chorizo burger with avocado, pepper jack, broccoli sprouts, spicy sauce $17

Deviled eggs with pimiento cheese, pickled mustard seed $6

Total: $23

Jared’s Order: Niman ranch cheeseburger with caramelized onion, tomato, cheddar, iceberg lettuce, S.O. sauce $16, and fries $6

Total: $22

Dessert: Blackberry Cassis Tart – browned butter almond filling, blackberry and cassis compote, vanilla ice cream $10

Thoughts: This place is perfect for a post-work drink and shared appetizer if you work at a place where you wear a suit. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I went in there wearing a t-shirt and a jacket and felt a tad underdressed. The food is 25% too expensive, but is also quite good. If you live in the Mid-Wilshire area and need a spot for a first date, I think we found a winner.

Craig & Jared’s Score: 8.5/10

 

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The Blackberry Cassis Tart

3. Stevie’s Creole Cafe – Cajun/creole food (Craig’s Pick)

Location: 5545 W Pico Blvd, Los Angeles CA 90019

Craig’s Order: Seafood Gumbo: Voted “best gumbo this side of New Orleans” by Jonathan Hold of the Los Angeles Times. Our famous file gumbo is prepared in a thick seafood stock with loads of crab, shrimp, chicken, and sausage over steamed rice with French bread. Side of cornbread muffin with home-made peach butter (cornbread was only 60 cents per muffin!).

Total: $14

Jared’s Order: Half Catfish/Half Shrimp Po’Boy w/ fries

Total: $16

Complimentary: Jalapeño Cucumber Lemonade

Thoughts: Thank god I left my car at a friend’s house one night and had to walk there the next morning, otherwise I would have never found this little darling. Stevie’s exceeded my expectations in every way. It’s affordable, has great service, an inviting ambience, and features top notch food from a relatively uncommon cuisine in the LA area. This is an order at the counter, take a seat and enjoy kind of place, perfect for a casual date, or a cultured munch sesh with the boys where you can explore an underrated style of cooking.

Craig & Jared’s Score: 9/10

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Seafood Gumbo

 

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Cornbread muffin with homemade peach butter
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Jared’s shrimp and catfish po’ boy with fries

STOUT – burgers and beer (Roommate Mike’s Pick)

Location: 1820 N Cahuenga Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90028 and Franklin (1 of 3 locations in LA)

Fun Fact: They are open until 4am everyday of the week.

Craig’s Order: The Morning After with a side of onion rings – Rosemary Bacon / Egg Over Easy / Aged Cheddar / Chipotle Ketchup

Drink: Red Chair – Deschutes / Bend, OR / Pale Ale (Nitro) / 6.2%

Total: $19

Jared’s Order: The Six Weeker with a side of fries – Brie / Fig Jam / Arugula / Caramelized Onions

Total: $17

Fries did not come with the burger

Nothing Complimentary

Thoughts: Stout is cool in theory. Specialty burger place with a ton of beers on tap in a modern industrial corner spot in Hollywood. But… it just doesn’t quite hit. I’d rather go to Stacked or The Golden State (on Fairfax). For the type of people they want to attract (mid/late twenties to early thirties young professionals) it doesn’t work hard enough to piqued my interest. There was no fun deal to compensate for the pricey burger a la carte, the wait staff felt just as apathetic as I was, and why were there not beer flights? I’m probably being too picky. I will say, the burger itself, was one of the better burgers I have had in a while, but that’s about it. And the sides were subpar at best. For a place that only offers burgers and salads, you’d think the sides would be a focal point. So I guess that’s sort of my point. For a place that specializes in burgers and beers, they don’t do a good enough of job at burger and beering.

P.S. Also I’m just going to say it. Ketchup does not go with onion rings. It should not be a side for onion rings. Give me some ranch or a damn aioli!

Craig and Jared’s Score: 6.5/10

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Craig’s Morning After Burger and Deschutes beer (onion rings not pictured b/c they were meh).
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Jared’s Six Weeker burger with a side of fries

BONUS RESTAURANT

5. Cassell’s Hamburgers (Specialty Craig Pick)

Location: 3600 W 6th St, Los Angeles, CA 90020

Craig’s Order: Tuna salad sandwich on wheat, side of potato salad, apple pie with vanilla ice cream

Craig’s go-to order: Patty melt on rye with swiss, with sweet potato waffle fries and dulce de leche banana cream pie

Jared’s order: Classic cheeseburger with grilled onions w/ classic kennebec fries

Read my thoughts and see some pics: A Love Letter to Cassell’s Hamburgers

Hear our thoughts: Chew-001: A Food Podyssey

Craig & Jared’s Score: 9.5/10

The Low Upside Group Text – The Fifty Shades Franchise

This is a comprehensive actual text conversation that occurred between Craig and Jared as they journeyed through the sexual voyage of the 50 Shades of Grey franchise.

Please click this link and play Elle Goulding’s “Love Me Like You Do” while reading this text chain to effectively capture that mood we felt while watching these movies.

Movie #1: 50 Shades of Grey

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Jared: I don’t make love. I fuck. Hard. Cause I’m 50 shades of fucked up.

Craig: The only sexual attraction I felt in this movie is towards that delicious cosmo my girl Ana was slamming in Savannah.

Jared: I need to know how much Rita Ora got paid for playing the sister for an entire 12 seconds and three lines of dialogue.

Craig: Big ups to the city of Seattle for securing a crappy pseudo sex porn movie franchise before an NBA team.

Jared: That’s how I know this movie was fictional. Because if there was actually someone as rich and affluent as Christian Grey in Seattle, not only would they have the Sonics back but they would have an NHL team as well.

Wow imagine the team moving down the ice. The Seattle Greys. The first team to play hockey exclusively in leather outfits

Craig: The way Christian Grey’s character is set up, he may as well be the starting point guard on the Seattle Greys NBA team. At the impressive age of just 27 he is a BILLionaire who plays the piano and has his helicopter license–a remarkable accomplishment considering from the age of 15 to 21 he was enslaved as a sex servant to his aunt.

Jared: Can we briefly mention that there’s an entirely unexplained romance between the roommate and Christian greys brother.

Like is that supposed to be relevant.

Or is there going to be a side story all about how Christian greys brother is a Sub looking for a woman to be his Dom and he convinces her roommate to become a dominatrix and she just demolished brother grey for pleasure.

Craig: I would so watch the spinoff series Brother Grey. Imagine all of the steamy drama we get about a man constantly living in the shadow of his still inexplicably successful brother, leading him to search for a dominatrix whose expectations he can finally live up to. He still can’t get over the fact that his aunt didn’t choose him to be her sex slave.

Jared: You keep saying aunt but I’m certain that he said it was his mother’s friend. Which makes me think you may be projecting.

Craig: I mean sure my brother is more successful than me and happens to be the same age as Christian Grey and also lives in the Pacific Northwest and OKAY I WAS PROJECTING A LITTLE. But all my moms friends are very respectful ladies. That, I can assure you… hi Linda.

I just can’t wait for there to be a plot in the sequel. We deserve one.

Jared: I think we are assuming there will be a plot but once we actually watch it’s just Christian telling Ana to sign the contract for two hours, her saying no, him smacking her in the butt with the little whip stick as punishment, her asking for him to share a bed with her as a reward for being a good Sub, then repeat.

Movie #2: Fifty Shades Darker

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Jared: So to discuss the second movie a bit, why the fuck did Rita Ora show up with different hair and in a mask at the party cause I had no fucking clue that was her?

Craig: Why is every actor in this movie a complete and utter unknown except Rita Ora.

Jared: Remember how I mentioned the most unbelievable part of the first movie was that Ana managed to find a spot right in front of the Grey Building? The actual most unbelievable part is that Jamie Dornan was able to turn a 9 episode arc on Once Upon A Time into a lead role in an erotic romance trilogy with a FAT budget.

Craig: If this trilogy doesn’t end with crazy boss Jack having wild hate sex with crazy old lady Elena I’m out.

Jared: Honestly put Jack in the psych ward with the crazy girl cause they are perfect for each other. Christian Grey is now billionaire playboy matchmaker.

Craig: It’s a shame this movie didn’t start having interesting things happen until the 90 minute mark, we could have had like 3 more helicopter crashes.

Jared: Okay seriously what’s the deal with the helicopter crash. It wasn’t important whatsoever. It didn’t push the film forward. If anything it made me question why I’m wasting over 6 hours watching this franchise with you.

Craig: They didn’t even tease it with a minute or so of smooth helicopter flying and some casual business talk with his coworker. It pretty much cut to a helicopter crash like you were flipping through channels and landed on a juicy part of the 6 o’clock news.

Jared: Then he inexplicably cuts his way through the Oregon-Washington forest and manages to get home within hours of the news of his disappearance? Also his coworker was fine. Not that anyone was worried about her

Craig: Christian and his coworker lady surviving and getting discovered in the forest is the most interesting part of the first two movies and we didn’t see a second of it. Instead we watched Christian’s step mom serve tea and watch the local news.

Jared: And we watched that ugly old woman get irrationally angry that the man she raped for 6 years got engaged and is attempting to live a mildly normal life despite the fucked upbringing.

Craig: It’s pretty crazy that we literally haven’t mentioned the main character of this franchise once since we have been discussing the sequel.

Jared: Bruh I forgot her name anyway. 

Movie #3: Fifty Shades Freed

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Jared: Remember that part when Christian Grey inexplicably starts singing “Maybe I’m Amazed” and it’s supposed to be this revelatory moment for his family?

I wish I didn’t remember. It didn’t make the movie any worse it just made the franchise more bizarre.

Craig: I feel Freed that it’s finally over. My biggest regret is that I didn’t watch the entire trilogy in a crisp pair of jeans like our boy Christian.

Jared: My biggest regret in life is not owning a crisp pair of jeans purely for sexual purposes

Craig: Is it called 50 Shades Freed because we are finally free of this hollow sexual melodrama or because Christian has finally freed his passion for lounge singing

Jared: Just to continue our conversation about how much more interesting his brother is, in this one we had the wonderful storyline where maybe he was smashing the architect with the fake boobs but she was actually just helping him pick a ring to PROPOSE TO ANA’S FORMER ROOMMATE.

I wanna see how the fuck those characters even ended up that deeply in love in just a little longer than the short time it took Christian to lock down Ana.

Craig: If there were ever a prequel (50 Shades Dawned??), rather than watch him get dominated by his mom’s friend, I’d like to specifically focus on Christian Grey’s rise in the business marketing (I think?) world in the Pacific Northwest as well as his learning of the piano and receiving his helicopter pilots license. This man has exhibited Warren Buffett-like levels of progression as a business man.

Jared: am entirely convinced he actually is an idiot savant. I believe he got a shit load of cash from his adopted parents, bought a crap-ton of companies in various industries and dubbed them all subsidiaries of Grey Enterprises. Somehow some of them were insanely profitable so he just rinsed and repeated until he was a billionaire.

Craig: I feel like the author of these books, E.L. James, did the same thing, she wrote a bunch of hyper-sexual “love stories” and threw them at a wall hoping one stuck. And what do you know, America loves a late 20-something man with a passion for jeans dominating a woman with the personality of Lauren B from the Bachelor.

ALSO, when I said everyone in this film is an unknown besides Rita Ora, I am completely aware that Oscar WINNER Kim Basinger portrayed the complex Elena Lincoln AKA Christian’s sexual master. Either she lowered her acting abilities to the competition around her out of respect or she is trying a new drug I am unaware of. Can an Oscar be taken away? Can her new boyfriend in the inevitable spinoff series be a fellow Hollywood one hit wonder? I pick Ralph Macchio.

Jared: Lets be real about ol’ Kim here. Few actors who PEAK at winning an Oscar go on to do more roles that are of that level again. What has Brie Larson done in the last 2 years? Where is Adrien Brody? Shit even Cuba has an Oscar and that dude starred in Disney’s SNOW DOGS. I’ll forgive Kim Basinger, but I’ll never forgive a dude that needs to be shirtless in his favorite pair of blue jeans just to reach a satisfying orgasm.

Craig: Unlike 50 Shades Freed, this feels like a satisfying way to conclude our first group text chain.